#my brain’s built different

[dreamerwriternstargazer]

I decided the most sensible option would be to go back to sleep and eat a decent Suhoor because staying up would just mess with my sleep again, and I want enough time to eat Suhoor and pray and clean bc the kitchen is a bit messy

I gave future!Star a little bit of help by tidying a little bit when I went downstairs to feed the cats (yeah he just wanted food 💀 the hug was nice though)

And I slep now 😴

[jesuis-assez]

Tim unconsciously sending/showing signals of his feelings for Lucy

[ambeauty]

Was it peaceful when she asked somebody else for his number after he intentionally gave her the wrong one? Was it peaceful when she interrupted his day of work to ask him to help her move some furniture? Was it peaceful the way she tried to joke about his brother’s suicide when he clearly hasn’t grieved properly? Was it peaceful when she brought him to a party full of people from high school when they are grown ass adults and she knows he didn’t have friends like that in high school? Was it peaceful when she left her best friend grieving a break up for a man? Was it peaceful when she begged the chef to cook for her? Was it peaceful when he kicked everybody out who was working towards his dream just so he could be alone with her? Was it peaceful when he had a panic attack after sleeping with her? Was it peaceful when she stormed the back of the kitchen after friends and family when he was having a meltdown? Was it peaceful when she made the entire meltdown about herself? Was it peaceful for her to be talking shit about him to anybody that would listen? Was it peaceful for her to not ask is he even ok? Was it peaceful for her favorite day to be Monday? Was it peaceful? Was it?

Or is she just speaking in a low tone of voice in an almost dream like quality? Is her existence to him only peaceful in his mind? Don’t let soft voices and pretty faces fool you. They are full of fallacies. Like sirens.

Thank you to my pookie @sydneys-adamu for letting me scream everytime I get annoyed 🥴

[nemo-of-house-hamartia]

Please, someone stop me from listening to Josh Groban, because otherwise I will end up DRAWING ANOTHER "MOTTIE AT BED" ARTWORK.

Like seriously, I cannot.

When I hear him sing "You have no idea" all I can hear is Mathias singing to Dorothea AND MY HEART CANNOT TAKE IT.

IT'S EXPLODING WITH SOFT TENDERNESS.

(and I have become the joke of my own household, because my husband, loving Josh as much as I do, now DOES IT ON PURPOSE OF PUTTING HIM ON OUR SPEAKERS, especially when he sees that I am busy working on something not Mottie-related. He knows how my brain works. HE KNOWS IT. So if sometimes you see me derailing, IT'S MR. NEMO'S FAULT AS WELL).

[anonymocha]

Do NOT try this at home, you may not blink or sleep for the next 48 hours and found unconscious frothing in the mouth on a sidewalk after that

[yesmissnyx]

Not gonna lie...it's hard to even pretend to be into small penis humiliation when like...

Sorry but I am an absolute slut for tdick lmao 😌🙏💞

[biblically-accurate-dca]

KILL!!!!!!!!!

[vaguely-concerned]

*fully sweating bullets and thousand yard staring into space as the king of hearts starts to talk about losing the person you love and what you'd be willing to do to get them back* this better not be fUCKING thematic foreshadowing for what this story is meant to head towards eventually (I say, with little hope and great trepidation). we're just going to be thematically microdosing on that in the main krew right folks. no one's going to be lost forever. right??!?!

(though I must admit that the idea of some of them dying and being brough back because that is someone else's heart's desire -- because 'what would even be the point of being given anything else, if you aren't here with me' -- would render me fully incapable of being normal ever again and forever goodnight)

[bumblebeeenby]

Horrible AU that makes no sense but won’t leave my head: Jay’s been an android this whole time. Yep, Ed and Edna just made a kid out of scrap one day and were like “Sweet. Free son.” and never told him. Jay’s literally made of junkyard parts. Queue a reveal during like, season 9 and no one knows what to do with this information, including Jay.

[luzlylovely]

martin, dukeman, you just volunteered.

✨hubba hubba✨

[criticalrolo]

my time is currently split between listening to worlds beyond number and Stanning Suvi, and trying to decide if I immediately want to rewatch calamity for Laerryn. will somebody please tell Aabria how much I love her work with wizards

[aurriearts]

(image desc in alt text)

sura has fashion opinions. (fun fact: this shirt is Real and it's Cursed)

also i need everyone to see sura being disappointed in chen

[akkivee]

from kaigen to terminus, i feel like that’s one crazy switch up on kuukou’s part lol

[obstinatecondolement]

Do unironically and genuinely love that in fandom we will say "there is no platonic explanation for this" completely straightfaced and then go back to writing pornography tailored to our friends' turn ons, which we have extensive knowledge of, to gift them as an entirely platonic gesture.

[bunnihearted]

i thiiiink my problem is that i want toxic things buuuut in a healthy way.... like yes i want to be clinginess but both respecting when we get overwhelmed. i want lowkey stalking eo and having eo's locations and i want collars and marks and blood vials, but also respect and understanding when it gets too much for the moment and u need a little space. and i want co-dependency and doing almost everything together all the time and for eachother, but also respect when and if we need to just be alone for a moment. i want all of that but not in an abusive way, and all of that is sadly very closely intertwined with abuse.... so.. sad lyfe :(

[bleachbleachbleach]

[Bleach 083]

I have never really identified this in myself before, but I am kind of maybe a little obsessed with Ganju. A lot of this has to do with my general superinvestment in Rukia and Kaien and the whole Shiba-Kuchiki situation. But I'm also just into Ganju himself? I think it's the 4WD boar. SUBARU FAM.

Also because it's interesting to think about what we can draw from these panels, in terms of how Ganju is thinking about himself. I'm pretty sure we don't yet know that the Shiba are former nobility (though now I'm not sure in what future context that, specifically, would come up? if I had to guess Byakuya brings it up on the bridge, because literally who else would). Regardless, they have this whole cannon situation, and they are adept enough at the spiritual arts to know/invent kidou. In this chapter, the ceremony of the cannon is a huge deal (and requires use of what we might assume is Kuukaku's zanpakutou?). Even if we don't know the specifics, we know these are not your average Rukongai konpaku by any stretch of the imagination.

From Rukongai

But Ganju has still narrated a version of his brother that excelled in the Academy "despite being from Rukongai." The Shiba are absolutely not "from Rukongai" in the way that, say, Parakeet Kid is, even if they have always lived outside the Seireitei walls, pre- or post-demotion. Despite that distinction, and their linage, Ganju still thinks of himself--and by extension, Kaien--as being of this place, this non-Seireitei place. I mean, he rides a boar, he has fully embraced the bogan lifestyle.

My point is, this distinction of being from Rukongai matters to him, in his calculus of the world. Being from a noble family, it's probably only as surprising that Kaien is as innately talented as he is, as it is that Byakuya would be innately talented (relative to other Kuchiki as well as relative to other shinigami). The reach isn't as extreme as it would be for some literally random Rukongai konpaku. But that's not how Ganju sees this.

My brother who's in the Gotei

As far as determining Gotei norms, Ganju gives us a lot of cool info, provided we take him at this word as someone who would be intimately familiar with how the Gotei works. SURE, everything I've said thus far suggests we shouldn't. But I also feel like his pride in Kaien--and the kinds of weird things grief makes fixations out of--would suggest that even if Ganju knows nothing about the Gotei, he knows these little Kaien-shaped pieces to the letter:

Perhaps obviously, it is unusual to have lieutenant-class levels of reiryoku on entry into the Gotei

This does not automatically qualify you to become a lieutenant (even if there are slots available, which it kind of seemed like there were, re: Ukitake)

Kaien makes lieutenant within 5 years of joining the Gotei, which is also an exceptionally quick ascent. Given that Ukitake is nudging him in that direction during TBTP, this gives us something of a timeline on how long Kaien had been in the Gotei at that point (not very!).

"I was just a kid"

Then, between 40-110 years later, Kaien dies.

It's wild to think about Ganju being "a kid" when this happens. When was Ganju born???? Given that neither time nor aging are linear here, that's an impossible question to answer with certainty. Plus, I think "a kid" in this context could mean a whole lot of things that don't necessarily mean "I was exactly seven years old."

Even if I don't think I buy it entirely, I'm into the possibility that Ganju really is BABY, and was born after Kaien was already a shinigami and living apart from the fam (are the Shiba parents still alive and living and even weirder and more itinerant life than even Kuukaku--perhaps on the high seas??).

I'm also into the possibility that, honestly, Ganju has had a hard life, and that Kaien's death fundamentally separated his sense of who he was prior to that moment and who he would become, and that this is what he's referencing when he says his memories are dim because he was "only a kid" then. He had to grow up fast, at the same time as he's in no rush to grow up (running around with his boar gang, self-proclaiming things, rushing home for supper, acting the dutiful little bro to Kuukaku). Regardless, there's a lot of trauma surrounding Kaien's death, for sure. Which isn't to say Ganu's entire and only personality and reason for anything is his trauma, LOL. But it's not like Kaien's death and absence isn't a huge part of what's made him. It's not until this moment with the cannon, and the Hero Garb he made himself (using the Shiba crest) that he really says, okay, let's get some real info. Let's move forward.

DIY Regalia

Even the fact of his making his own Hero Garb really intrigues me. There is a long history that the Shiba are a part of--and again, we see this in the ceremony of the cannon, and perhaps even in Kuukaku's clothing and tattoos. It's not as though the Shiba don't already have regalia. And we could take this as Ganju finally fashioning literal, specific garments for himself as he takes up more of the mantel of his family's legacy, in the style of their usual regalia. I totally buy that.

But I also feel like the focus on this special getup being self-made goes back to Ganju not necessarily having access to the full picture of who his family was as a Great Noble House, and what all that history really is. We know that sometime after Kaien's death, the Shiba ceased to be a Great Noble House. If Ganju really was that young when Kaien died, there's another disruption. Like his memories of Kaien or his notions of who Kaien was, what the circumstances of his death were, Ganju is kind of piecing these things together without a map. ...Not unlike Ichigo!

(Must run in the family.)